Let me start this post off with a warning:
I'm in a strange, strange mood.
And I might be slightly sleep deprived/over caffeinated.
Proceed at your own risk. . .
I hate the smell of garbage.
Obviously.
I mean, I don't know anyone who thinks,
(In a Southern accent, obviously.)
"Why, doesn't that rotting trash just smell wonderful?
I'm so glad that pleasant aroma assaulted my nasal cavities when I opened the lid on that there trash can."
But I really hate the smell of garbage.
To the point that it makes me angry.
Some times I take the trash out when it's not even full just because it smells.
So I generally buy the deodorizing trash bags.
And the trash doesn't smell so bad,
and everyone is happy.
But a few weeks ago I got a different kind.
And I don't even know what kind it is.
(And no, I won't run downstairs and check.
It's practically the middle of the night!)
All I know is that in addition to being deodorizing
it also has a smell of it's own.
Lilies or something.
And the smell is ruining my life!
(And no, I'm not being overly dramatic, alright?)
Whoever made these garbage bags
must hate the smell of garbage even more than I do.
They wanted to make darn sure the garbage,
whatever it happened to be,
would not win!
They smell so strongly that they overpower my Scentsy warmer.
(It's less than 20 feet away.)
They smell so much that if the lid on the garbage can is closed
and you open it
you're going to gag on the smell of sweet, sweet lilies.
They smell so much that if you breathe while eating your sweet and sour chicken
you will suddenly find yourself eating sweet and sour lilies.
And that makes me really sad.
Because sweet and sour lilies are not very tasty.
And I'm only on the first bag.
Of 45.
And that made me tear up a little.
Which makes me wonder if I don't just need more sleep. . .
That's all. :(
3 comments:
this post sums up why we have been friends since 7th grade.
i freaking love you.
this post makes me miss you just a little bit more than I already did! You are freaking hilarious!
First of all, I accidentally bought scented bags once, and they were really small so I just used them to put weeds in. And so the next spring when I was weeding the yard I was surprised that the weeds didn't smell like vanilla like they did last year. And when I accidentally bought those scented bags again I wondered why the bag company would make bags that smelled like weeds. Weird, weird, mind confusion. Secondly, you know how you should have a year supply, and not just of food but of things you need like soap and deodorant and toilet paper? Well put those lily bags in your "year supply" and if you ever run out of bags you can resort to using one of the lily bags, or you can use them if the grocery stores are closed and everyone is quarantined to their houses in a crisis situation. So put the lily bags with your year supply and go buy some bags that won't ruin your life. That's my 2 cents worth.
Post a Comment